This Week, I Noticed My Listening Was Slipping
In the last couple of weeks, I’ve had to face something uncomfortable: I’ve made mistakes with my listening. Not dramatic ones — just the very human kind that creep in when we’re tired, stretched, or carrying too much in our heads.
I’ve opened messages, thought I’d read them properly, and then realised later that I hadn’t actually taken them in. I’ve listened to people speak, felt sure I’d understood what they meant, and then responded… only to discover I’d missed the mark completely. And honestly? It’s maddening. That moment of ARGHHHHHHH! when you realise your brain filled in the gaps with assumptions instead of clarity.
When Fatigue Distorts What We Hear
There are weeks when listening feels easy — when I’m rested, grounded, and able to take in the full meaning of someone’s words. And then there are the other weeks. The weeks when fatigue sits behind my eyes, stress hums in the background, and my inner world is already full before anyone even speaks.
In those moments, listening becomes far more complex than I realise. What I think I heard isn’t always what was actually said. My brain tries to help by filling in the blanks, but it doesn’t always get it right.
What I Did When I Noticed the Mistakes
Once I realised what was happening, I had to slow myself down and go back to basics:
Pause — stop the automatic responding.
Notice — acknowledge that my filters were foggy.
Apologise — repair the moment with honesty and care.
Try again — listen properly this time, with presence.
And then came the hardest part: offering myself some kindness. I’m not great at that. But I knew I needed to soften the edges of my frustration and remind myself that mistakes made in overwhelm are not moral failings — they’re signals.
Signals that I’m tired.
Signals that I’ve pushed too hard.
Signals that I need to recalibrate.
A Question I’ve Been Sitting With
In that moment of self-kindness, I found myself wondering about all of us:
- What do others do with listening when stressed?
- How do you react when you have not been heard correctly?
- Do you wonder if the person who didn’t hear correctly was OK? Or were they struggling?
- Do you have compassion for them?
Because I know I’m not the only one who has weeks like this. Weeks when our capacity is low, our attention is scattered, and our good intentions don’t quite translate into good listening.
A Gentle Reminder for All of Us
Listening well isn’t just a communication skill — it’s a wellbeing practice.
It asks us to stay connected to our own internal state so we can stay connected to others. It asks us to notice when our filters are slipping. And it asks us to treat ourselves with the same compassion we offer the people around us.
Final Question for You?
When you think about your own life, what’s the earliest signal you notice that tells you your filters for listening are starting to slip?
Have a week of great listening if you can!
