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Anger – Why can it surprise us at times?

Hello!  

How are you? Do you make time to check in with yourself and ask that question sometimes? 

“How am I”? – take time reflect here…… 

Anger has been a discussion topic recently and I wanted to share some thinking on this. 

A coaching friend Celeste Cleary and I discussed Anger in a recent podcast and if you have time and are an auditory and visual learner it may be something to listen to when you go for your next walk! https://youtu.be/_VGFlzKgAD0  

I was excited to talk about Anger with Celeste as I feel that I have been encountering many angry people in my work recently.  I have been creating awareness for people who are feeling that the emotion of Anger is the emotion they are feeling the most at the moment. 

Many of them have been surprised at their Anger popping up so much and it has been great to unpack this with people who want to do their lives differently.   

So what do we know about Anger? 

  • Its an emotion characterised by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong 
  • It’s a normal human emotion 
  • Uncomfortable to feel, manage or witness 
  • Will impact us and those around us if not managed appropriately. 

Why do we feel Angry? 

  • Because we are human and we feel 
  • We need emotion to give us messages about what is acceptable/unacceptable to us 
  • It inspires us to take action 
  • We may be tired, exhausted and there may be other emotions behind it – it can be complex. 

When is Anger a Problem? 

  • When we are feeling it all the time 
  • It changes our behaviour – we become aggressive, abusive, controlling – this includes passive aggression also 
  • When we cant express it properly 
  • When we don’t understand it properly – bottle it up and explode later 
  • When we self soothe to manage it – use alcohol, drugs to feel better 
  • When it leads to us withdrawing from others and situations 
  • It leads to regret of who we are and how we behave when we feel angry 

If you want to measure your anger levels the British Association of Anger Management has a free online quiz which is great to check in and see if your anger is beyond what is acceptable. 

https://www.angermanage.co.uk/free-anger-test/  

What does Anger do to us? 

  • Ages us dramatically – its toxic to our body chemistry to be angry so it ages us biologically if we keep angry 
  • Leads to tension and Stress – Mental health diagnosis 
  • Hypertension,  
  • Heart disease 
  • Adrenal Fatigue 
  • Cancer 
  • Self hatred, worthlessness and depression 
  • Loneliness – as it drives others away from you and isolates you. 

What can you do differently to not let Anger run your life. 

  • NOTICE your Anger  
  • Be AWARE of you anger and own it 
  • UNPACK it – WHY are you Angry 
  • Take a breath and walk away to give you time to sit with your anger and pull it apart and see what is happening and why it has happened. 
  • Take a breath – count backwards from 10 
  • Move – stretch – go for a walk 
  • Write down your feelings – be angry on paper 

For more information go to  

Do I Have Anger Issues? How to Identify and Treat an Angry Outlook https://www.healthline.com/health/anger-issues 

How to Control Anger: 25 Tips to Help You Stay Calm
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-control-anger#1  

Join the Facebook Healthline Anger page at https://www.facebook.com/healthline/photos/a.392166636992/10158326319301993/?type=3  

If you would like a coach to help you with your Anger or any other Health and Wellness goals then Let’s Talk!

Be the ‘The Master of your Destiny’ 

We only get this life now – make it the best one for you 😊 

Sue cosgrove zest again

By Sue Cosgrove

Founder of Zest Again
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